Well, we don't even have a pumpkin yet. The fact that Christmas is in full swing at BOTH of my jobs has something to do with that. But there is no school today, so we shall see if something can get done about this huge gaffe in the holiday merry-making.
(I should tell you that we have celebrated, however. I was at school most of yesterday with the "Fall Experience". That phrase never fails to entertain me. Several concessions were made, as the temperature was something like 85. So hot cider became ice water, etc. There was also the fair fun complete with bunny and the annual Fall Festival at our school, where my shift was to ensure that children did not go back into the Haunted House after they exited. Also, we were able to watch half of "The Addams Family" together as a family, the other half to be viewed sometime this weekend. RIP Raul Julia! Angelica Houston - unparalleled! Christina Ricci - brilliant!)
With everyone's various activities in full swing, we also haven't finalized costumes. Hoping to remedy that tomorrow - here's my son's idea:
And my daughter continues her stretch of Costume As Social Commentary by producing her own "high stakes gambler" outfit. I cannot find an image to capture her homemade, painted, and glue gunned couture, but rest assured the point comes across.
Other ideas I had were:
World Cup fan: soccer jersey, Vuvuzela. TERRIFYING!
Tony Hayward: fake tan, Hawaiian shirt, blank expression. YIKES!
Wake School Board Majority: You need a blonde hottie, grey hair spray, padding, and the other one. AGGGH!!
Mark Zuckerburg: GAP sweatshirt, wads of cash hanging out of your pockets, blank expression. HORRORS!
Joan Holloway: red updo, gold pen necklace, baby bump. SCARY! (for her, anyway)
I should add that I saw a recent episode of Millionaire Matchmaker all the way through - for the first time. I was gripped, as the millionaire PROPOSED!
Our pastor talked about days that change you in his sermon (that I heard twice, per my usual) yesterday. The day you are married. The day you hear you have cancer. The day you decide that you are not going to be mad anymore. The day your first child is born.
Because today we got our bunny. She was purchased at the fair last week and we have been in contact with her breeder? grower? previous owner? for a bit. But today was the day. Daddy went and got her and...
....fell instantly in love. Those of you who know him should be surprised at this - I sure was! But he has had a teensy turnaround in recent days. Maybe he was worried ahead of time and had acceptance spread upon him. Last night, his answer to daughter's not sleeping was to give her a mantra to repeat to herself. It was, and I quote,
"Breathe in, 'I'm getting a bunny', breathe out, 'I love my bunny'".
I'm pausing here whilst you laugh.
Anyway, she's soft as hell. And interesting to watch and interact with. No biting and poop output is minimal. It's only day one, of course. But so far, so good. For today, at least, we are happy and full of joy and love. A day that has changed us.
My sleep has been seriously disrupted. This is NOT what I expected from my children's older childhood/tween years.
My daughter suffers from....high metabolism? Combined with a bit of anxiety? With a dash of the common sleep problems associated with adolescence? We've determined that she has to exercise, heartily, every day. Otherwise, she has trouble going to sleep and then decides it is best to come wake me up to tell me this fact.
I met several parents at a sporting event recently who told me they give their children melatonin. But isn't that a hormone? We're not giving her melatonin.
So last night, after Daddy had been in charge all day, she comes in at 1:30 a.m. (ok, it was this morning) to tell us she can't sleep. I asked if she had had caffeine...and Daddy said, no, just a Vitamin Water.
Sigh.
We had baby and toddler nieces here this weekend. Their parents are very good with them and I really didn't hear them at all. But there was the one night that toddler fell out of her bed. I have to say, I was impressed with myself for hearing the thump and racing to her aide...until her mom showed up, from two flights of stairs, 2 seconds later! Remember the sonic hearing of the new mom? Yeah, my sis-in-law's like, BIONIC.
Between poor sweet niece's fall and worry about the fact that my boss was sick and I was thus in charge of a huge musical extravaganza at work, no sleep.
I'm not a great sleeper anyway. My friend Lynn, with whom I've shared a room at various conferences and getaways, is always making me jealous. Her small black-haired head flops down on a pillow at some point in the evening and NEVER. MOVES. AGAIN.
I do know that exercise helps me. And I'm back on supplements and am taking yoga back up for relaxation. What helps YOU sleep?
I just returned from Body Pump class. The instructor's iPod died during our first set.
"Who has an iPod?"
Um, me?
Um, all of my songs are explicit?
Oh wait, here's a playlist....with a bunch of Captain Underpants and Spongebob songs....KIDS!!! Grrr.
But: how about "HEY BABY"! (Squats commence!)
We move on to biceps and triceps...and I'm not sure I can find anything.
"Do you have any rap?"
Um, yes? BUT IT'S FILTHY!!
We settle on some "Empire State of Mind" and a couple of Rhianna songs.
I started getting creative at this point...and I tried some TV on the Radio for lunges. Yeah, that didn't go over as well. Then I found an old Madonna song (that I happen to love - unusual in that I like Madonna's singles but never her albums...this one was not a single) for abs.
And CRUNCH! CRUNCH! CRUNCH to the SIDE!
Finally, cool down. I was thinking about it in my head the whole set of crunches. Dare I attempt Avett Brothers? Taylor Swift had already been rejected. There was the Mamma Mia! soundtrack to consider. I had U2's "No Line On the Horizon" - surely something soothing in that...
but ultimately I went back to my tried and true.
Reader, I went with REM. From Automatic for the People! And we all felt restored and renewed and fully stretched.
We've had so much rain. And yet, last week I was in the depths of despair because I feared it would never rain again. We had six weeks of hot, dry weather...with barely even a cloud in the sky save the one day a tropical storm came by us and spat six drops and snubbed its nose and went on about its business.
So on Sunday night we were all perplexed, amazed, and, apparently, instantly rendered unable to drive properly. Rain came down in buckets. FOR 24 HOURS. Then we had a day of sunshine. Then, more rain, in buckets...for OVER 24 HOURS. I believe that's all over with for us, but our friends in Wilmington should get slammed the rest of today.
Two funny things happened in the rain. On the way to school this morning, my son (who is in a very good mood in the mornings - this will change next year with the 6:15 wakeup) and I were listening to our dj friend as we do. She played a 70s rock song that I couldn't take at that moment, so I switched to our jazz station. A peppy swing number was on. Son sighed and said, "On a rainy morning, I prefer SLOW jazz."
I'm with you, brother.
Another funny thing is that my children reverted back to fort building for the duration of the storm. All sports were canceled...for the first time all season, I might add. This meant some free time and some rare inside time. They took all of the blankets, towels, stuffed animals, weights, hats, and spare paper in the house and constructed an enormous system of rooms and tunnels.
It was more than a little humbling to watch this week's Mad Men with it's destructive quality and then have to get on all fours to exit the den.
They are each writing notes to "my neighbor" and have decorated with comfy pillows, flashlights, and until this moment when I decided to blog, my laptop.
There's more rain called for on Monday. I'm letting them keep it up.
There is an indie rock festival in our town! Featuring not only some of the most intriguing new bands of today, but easily one of my top five influential bands, Public Enemy, as a headliner!
And we aren't going.
We are 1. broke, 2. overbooked, and 3. exhausted. One of the many "this is so awesome"/"Raleigh you rock" tweets last night as the festival got underway was a welcome, "I'm having to be satisfied reading tweets about my favorite bands instead of seeing them live. #havingkidschangesyourlifefortheworse" Or something akin to that. I agreed (though not really - I do love my urchins).
So tonight, as a local fave plays in front of my husband's office and then is followed by members of Animal Collective and the band Broken Social Scene, and then tomorrow night when Public Enemy fights the power that be, I shall be here with my children and then at my book club annual retreat. The children just aren't worth the $30 ticket. The book club has been neglected far too long.
So what is the light at the end of this dark, musically-bereft tunnel? The fact that we actually ATTENDED Hopscotch today! For the geezers, they had music DURING. THE. DAY. I blew off an appointment, grabbed my hubby, and went, in mom jeans, to a club. At noon! And there were beers! And good old friends, and some new ones too! And music! By a band I knew a little, and grew to love during their set!
I grew to love my husband a little bit more, too. That was truly one of the best hours I've had in months. Happy Hopscotch Weekend, all you hipsters! I joined you, if only for a little while, in rock solidarity.
Ah, Labor Day. A weekend where I....work. However, we have a lot of down time planned this weekend and hope to soak up some local culture, splash in our local pool, and dine on some local summer favorites before they go dormant.
September Sucks is my mantra...school/heavy workload/hurricane season, etc. There have been distractions from the usual mêlée, I must say. Such as:
Injuries and Illness
My Form + Function friend had gum surgery. As I told her, I KNOW YOUR PAIN. Ouchie, oh ouchie ouchie. My pastor broke his shoulder coming out of a Starbucks. His right shoulder - his healing, hugging shoulder. Bless. The many children we know with ailments are all doing ok...some in worse shape than others, but a few actually coming out just fine after, say, having a boat propeller slice up their back, or falling out of a high window....
Ok, on to a more positive diversion:
Nic Cage
I love him, I do. I saw "Valley Girl" four times in the one week it screened in Macon, GA. And I was hooked - for life. So we rented "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans". Yeah, I sat through about an hour until he smoked crack with a (very young) party girl in a parking lot with his gun out and....other things...out...and in. Anyway, harsh. But so great! I thought my husband would love it but he had trouble sleeping after completing the film. And to that I say: nice work, Nic!
The Emmys
I am starting to hate award shows...even though I am pulling most faithfully for people I love who might be up for said awards....but then there was this:
Happy!
Also, some lovely ladies....refer to Go Fug Yourself for highlights. Speaking of Glee, Heather Morris who plays Brittany, was possibly my very favorite.
Love him or hate him, Kanye West is first an artist. His new video proves it. I'm hopeful you've seen it before but if not, voila. Please be patient and watch the commercial first. And then push it into full screen.
Everyone I know is in a funk...whether they are sending a kid off to school, tired of the heat, or tired of the rain (all day today!), or bellyaching about going back to work...they are just funky.
I'm the worst offender.
I feel so...sensitive. So delicate and easily broken. I know the anticipation of the busyness and crazed schedule is worse than the reality - I know it! But one can't tell oneself that, it seems.
So how to stay calm in a crazy time. Yes, yes, we all remind ourselves how lucky we are. And boy, we are REALLY lucky. I have some dear friends going through some shit. Sorry for the NSFW but this is legitimate shit they are going through. Like, health shit. The worst kinds. Also financial shit. The recession has affected me in ways that don't seem that high-impact. I mean, we were always frugal and we didn't paint ourselves into financial corners. But there are those that are AFFECTED. I do think gratitude is an important part of every day. One can always turn to The Gratitude Journal app for iPhone ™. Just tap tap tap what you are thankful for right into your phone for daily affirmation and reminders.
The Vision Board app, also featured on the above link, just makes me tired. Look at it! Stickies and pictures of money - blech.
Exercise is a great stress-reliever for me. It is a great energy-producer for my husband. I like to take Body Pump and Body Flow classes at my gym, but lately I've really enjoyed the Wii Fit that my daughter got for her birthday. I was anti-video game for so long and now my day is not complete without doing plank or Ski Slalom or Kung Fu on the Wii. My Mii is plump but lately I've noticed her getting trimmer. Plus, she is FINALLY at a decent "real age" after I was able to find a good center of balance.
As you know, I enjoy the alcohol. I look forward to a drink after a long day...especially if I don't have to drive a carpool later on that evening. My friend Lynn hooked me up with Canton, a ginger liqueur. She serves it with pear vodka, but I find that it is just as delicious mixed into straight vodka for a gingery martini. Hubby pours a splash into his Maker's Mark. Wowza! Ginger is a naturally calming root, too. And mixed with vodka, hell! It's a wonder drug!
Finally, where would we be without relaxing music. I would offer up some of the cool hip indie music I have in rotation, but a lot of it is disturbing or so deliciously rocktastic that it will not soothe you (Arcade Fire, Vampire Weekend, Kanye, Matthew Dear). Some of it is chill. ax. Zero 7 is a favorite of my spouse's and they have a nice new compilation out, Record. On iTunes radio, under the Ambient section, they've taken away my beloved Groove Salad station (it got me through several tropical storms) but you can get it on the sona.fm web site. I also listen to Café Monet and the hilarious Birdsong radio (um, a bunch of chirps. Surprisingly calming!). Jazz-wize, I've been enjoying Nnenna Freelon (Durham's own!) and her latest release. She sang on Mad Men and I didn't even know it! Beach House can be sweet, and they are playing Raleigh in October. (I'll be at a soccer game, so someone let me know how that goes.)
So there you have it - a few ways to relax. Just writing this has been incredibly therapeutic for me, I must say. Of course, I have nothing for dinner and soccer practice in an hour and school starts tomorrow....let me go put on that bird tweet station....
There are three summer triumphs I can think of to write about at the moment. I'm sure there are others....for example, I have actually lost weight this summer despite drinking more than the daily recommended allowance for women over 40. Also, my children went two full weeks without screen time which now qualifies me to nod knowingly as I read John Rosemond's column in the paper. (This is probably worthy of another post, but EVERYONE I know agrees with this guy! And yet, one reads his column and recognizes not only one's own problems and parenting faults, but everyone else's too! I have yet to find a parent who says they don't like him, at least part of the time, but no one seems to really follow his precepts.)
Ok. Back to the three triumphs.
1. My daughter just handed me the copy of Twilight I loaned her, with a bookmark about halfway through, and said, "I don't think I wanna finish this, Mom." !!!! "Why?" "Because the girl just seems so....incompetent."
2. My son, when asked today if he wanted to accept an invitation for a swimming date/sleepover, said, "Nah, I don't think so." !!!! "Why not?" "I'm always really tired and grumpy after sleepovers. I don't sleep all that much and then I don't have any energy the next day."
3. My children, every day since our family viewing of "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure", have imitated Pee Wee Herman. !!!!! "Mad Dog! GRRRRRR" "I know you are, but what am I?" "I'm a loner, Dottie, a rebel."
Posting will be light whilst we in my household attempt to cross more things off of our summer goals list. Yes, we made a list. It is written in my husband's illegible script on scrap paper, and posted on the fridge.
So far I would say the big highlight was choosing to go to the Northeast on a (somewhat last minute) jaunt to see friends and chillax. The small highlight would be the classic movies we've screened - only two (what happened to all that movie watching???) but they were both HUMONGOUS hits in the house. More on those later.
Off to some expensive, loud fun park and then to the farmer's market to make some whack recipe my daughter chose.....
I have very few tv shows on my must-see list. Obviously, LOST was a huge priority, and you know, the Bravo habit, ahem. But from season one, episode one, I've watched "Mad Men".
The premise alone was enough to hook me - late 1950s New York! I LOVE a costume drama. What I didn't realize, tuning in, was that I would be getting a dose of feminist history.
For you see, I think the show is really about women. Hold on, don't tune out or throw things...just think about it...if you are a fan, you'll remember that season one turned on Peggy's changing role and affair with Pete (and the subsequent consequences of that affair). Season two had a lot to do with Betty and Joan....Betty arguably the less strong female, but the one who left her cheating, lying husband (albeit to go with another man) in season three. Joan married, but instead of living the dream, found she missed work, was not appreciated at home, and essentially was humiliated and violated by her husband. And now we have season four...back to Peggy (her hair! Finally!) and Joan, both of whom have major leadership roles at Sterling, Cooper, Draper, and Pryce. Lane's wife (SPOILER ALERT IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THIS WEEK'S) left him. The real Don Draper's wife is the only person Don seems to love. The one woman Don has a legitimate date with keep's him at arm's reach (a feat unaccomplished by anyone else except maybe the retail store heiress...but even she gave in). Betty...well, we'll just see how Betty comes out in the wash as feminism becomes more prevalent.
I read online that this season seems to be the one where Don becomes pathetic and that the world is moving on without him. Watching the excellent opening credits (with the catchy, catchy licks by my fave RJD2), you see a silhouetted figure's office falling away from him and that theory seems correct. But the silhouette is a man. And the times, they are a' changin'.
It's time I admit, after admitting earlier this summer that I 1. love Bravo, and 2. am a suburban mom and 3. have decided that cooking isn't all that bad, that I am a working mom. I'm not really a stay-at-home mom, though my schedule makes it seem that way. And that's a dangerous thing.
For you see, I am free some mornings - mornings that I often fill by volunteering at school or trying to catch up with friends. I am home in the afternoons with my children, making me available for homework help and carpooling to activities. Most of the summer, I'm free. Folks tend to forget that I actually have a paying job with duties that are somewhat important and co-workers and congregants who are relying on me.
If I had to complain a bit about my very flexible schedule, I would say the following: I have had to essentially quit my book club as it meets during a weekly work event, and I'm generally considered the go-to parent as my husband's job is not nearly as flexible. Yesterday, for example, I worked for a good chunk of time, constantly fielding phone calls and texts from home when, say, the power went out due to storms! Or someone wanted to open a new container of nuts! Needless to say, I was a half-ass employee.
And half-ass parent, I should add.
Which is why I quit full-time work just before I had my second child. I felt like I was not doing a great job at either place, home or work. I wanted to be 100% SOMEWHERE. As it turns out, part-time work is really good for me in terms of my emotional health...challenging, fun, adult time, and the money. But part-time work is not recognized by a lot of circles (I'm looking at you, PTAs of both schools!). So here I am again, in half-ass land.
My husband has been generally great, as a lot of the times I work are when he is home (Sundays, evenings). Still, there are the predictable squabbles over logistics, schedules, and who-does-what.
The money I make has enabled us to go on trips this summer and to send each child to a camp...so it's worth it. Right?
In an age when women truly are getting the upper hand, why does it seem like I still struggle to meet all of the expectations and goals I have? I believe some of it has to do with the area where I live. Most moms here don't work full or even part-time...partly the reason we moved here to begin with (I was very lonely in our other neighborhood where no one was even procreating). That tide seems to be changing a bit, especially as children age out of the preschool years.
I keep thinking what if, what if...what if my parents lived here and could help me...what if we made enough money to warrant hiring someone to help with the house, or with shuttling the children....what if I was able to indulge myself a little more with free time or time with friends....
I didn't cook a lot, or didn't cook much in a creative vein, on vacation last week. This week, however, I want to take advantage of summer produce. So we are having:
Baked Pommes Frites
Fresh red-skinned potatoes cut in half lengthwise, then into slices Put in cold water for a soak Toss with olive oil, kosher salt, pepper Bake at 400 for 20 - 30 minutes, turning once Serve with:
Curry Ketchup
1/2 cup ketchup 1 tsp Curry powder 1/2 cup mayo 1 tbsp finely chopped onion or shallot
No-Gas Gazpacho
Chopped fresh tomatoes (at our newest local produce market, Bickett Market, I was able to get "Cosmetically challenged tomatoes" for a good dollar less a pound.) Chopped fresh cucumber (maybe one cuke to two tomatoes is what I did) Chopped onion One ginormous garlic clove, minced fresh basil - about a large stalk fresh parsley the juice of a lime a tablespoon or so of red wine vinegar Hot sauce (your fave) Salt and freshly ground pepper
Mix all this up. Add some tomato juice (I used Clamato). Blend about half of it in a blender, and add it to the chunky bits.
I'll have this with Trader Joe's Crab Cakes, which I'll serve with
Horseradish Mayo
1/2 C. mayo lots of horseradish Lemon zest lemon juice salt pepper
and then popsicles for dessert.
Monday, July 19, 2010
I'm posting on an iPad, in the Apple store. Days after Apple announced that the iPhone 4 kinda doesn't work right. But. There must be 50+ people here, including children. Very tech-savvy children who are turning iPads upside down, tapping on iPod Touches, and navigating giant monitors. Elvis Costello is playing but I can only tell from the bass line. It is loud in here.
Everyone seems happy and productive.
We are in training to learn to use iMovie better. And i won't lie - the minute I find a "genius" who isn't closing on a multiple-thousand dollar sale (it could be a while), I'm going to ask if they can get my iPhone case off for me. The new case protects the big crack in my year-old iPhone.
If this place isn't a church, I'm not sure what is.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
I made a decision recently. Why? I'm not sure. I did finish the profane, sometimes funny, and ultimately unsuccessful book "Julie & Julia". Maybe Julie Powell's book influenced me? Maybe Nansch and her cooking experiments at Remlerville helped? Maybe being in my 40s? My decision is to embrace the cooking. The cooking that must be done all the time for not only my family, but for the bereaved and the celebrating within my social circle. So what if my stove only has two working burners! So what if my oven was built circa 1959? I can take my time, go to the store without the children (a new and wonderful development!), watch a little Bravo, and enjoy the cooking.
I tried last night with fish tacos.
Fish Tacos a la Whilst
Marinate two large fillets, cut into chunks, in: olive oil, the sauce from peppers in adobo, a chopped jalepeño slice, cilantro, cumin, and oregano, whisked together Dredge the filets in meal or flour Pan fry in a bit of oil Serve with: whole wheat tortillas chopped tomatoes chopped cilantro sour cream with lime juice whisked in guacamole or chopped avacado
And don't forget the cheeps and salsa.
I made that last night whilst everyone was outside rip sticking or whatever, and drinking a vodka martini (because OH MY GOD they had Russian Standard in Atlanta!! Will it come here? Has it come here??? Well, I imported my own from Georgia.) We sat down with candles and some vihno verde - thanks for turning me onto that tasty summer treat, Carole!
It was a good summer night. I did NOT do the dishes.
