I don't know how best to describe the month of May in this household. I'm not trying to be a martyr here, but this, after all, is MY blog....so martyrdom is what suits my current mood.

I'm not organized in a traditional fashion. My husband is not "clean" in a traditional fashion. My children are not terribly self-sufficient though they appear that way, thus misleading me. These are the basic ingredients to which we add the insane schedule of people who are probably too social and too involved.

The calendar is just not viewable day by day at this point in the year, and that makes every day seem nearly undoable in terms of logistics, who goes where, etc. Add to all that any minor little stressor: a big case for my husband at work, a family issue, hurt feelings somewhere in my circle, etc. and KABLAM. The castle of toothpicks starts a' wobblin'.

It's not a cheap month, either. We've shelled out, for activities and medical, over $3000 in the last two weeks. My children are going to exactly one day camp apiece, so this is not including that expense. I'm not complaining, for it is a wonderful thing to have dental care and a pool to swim in on these already-hot days. Still, as you all know, the money worries eek into your brain and start to spread like mold.

I'm trying very, very hard to take care of myself. I am not great at remembering to be grateful at night, but I am grateful....for good nights' rest most nights; for exercise (my new goal is to be sore at least once a week. Today's sore is brought to you by: Tennis With the Children. How is it that they are great at every sport? My thighs are crying.); for sweet new babies in our life and their calm, loving parents; for a job I enjoy and that includes rewards like children telling me they want to be singers when they grow up; for online Scrabble; for a month until the conventions; for Memorial Day and a relatively relaxed schedule; for sneaking away with a friend and her mom to catch a movie that, whilst not the finest film I've seen in May, gave me an intense belly laugh or two; for the concerts seen and anticipated; for my family; for a house with air conditioning; for the Trader Joe's guacamole kit; for loaner books from friends that were sweet little truffles of enjoyment; for a purpose in life that seems bigger than my petty woes.