I had two experiences with old women today. One experience was walking right behind an old woman when she let out a long, loud, trumpetous fart. It did not smell, but it was very loud and funny - you can find an example of it here, under "Skid Marks". The other old lady experience was shopping at the Food Lion with a woman who was easily 80 and yet dressed in a strapless cover-up and some shoes that are somewhat hip now, but I know were indeed from the past. Once the woman checked out, the cashiers all hooted and hollered and had a discussion that amounted to the opinion that if you want to flaunt it at that age, be our guest. I could see various troublesome lumps on the woman, and possibly some sort of heart cath in her chest, and then there were the floppy breasts that were offered no support. But I guess I agree with the cashiers.

As for Fart Lady, well, that is my future, I'm pretty darn tootin'. So I better just keep mum.