SPOILER ALERT: But, I found this at one of the Harry Potter sites I have been obsessively visiting today, JKR and HP's birthday. Pretty funny. And yet NOT! Please, all of you: finish the book so we can have a decent discussion about the HBP!

So freaking disturbing, but so undeniably catchy!!

I know I'm not original, but I do have the super Sharpie love, and my husband bought me the pastels! OMG!!! I love them! And I love him! OMG!!!

You know, you can buy a girl flowers or take her to a nice dinner, but for me, romance comes down to a clean car and a permanent marker.

Technology is fun and lovely and has made things much easier in this household for me since I can renew library books online and thus save tens of dollars on fines. I can also pay bills online, talk to people from other countries and New York City in real time, and get weather radar info when the Weather Channel is busy with an expose on some wimp in Florida's hurricane experience. (Sorry, Floridians: with the exception of Andrew, you got NOTHING on me) So thank you, Mother Technology, for these things.

Other things...well, no thanks. As I stated earlier, I'm somewhat relieved to be relieved of my Harry Potter burden. But if I had NOT wanted to know, I know I would know by now, and thus be irritated. I'm a little tired of emails with the subject line HEY FRIEND QUICK PENIS VIOXX. And then there is the problem of addiction, that I battle a little bit and for which my husband needs treatment. Poor Lynn, my dear friend, went without a computer for TWO WEEKS and lived to tell the tale...her woes have been the source of much angst and CASH.

But I guess overall it is a good thing, this here computer. And if I could only get Garage Band, then I think I would quit bashing once and for all.

He's a dude! There, now you know!

I'll admit this only to you, fair readers, but I know the secret of HBP. I'm sad, but I'm feeling better since I discovered the identity of the sacked character. Before, I was anxious, looking out of windows, getting knots in my tummy and making knots in my knitting. Now, I'm looking forward to reading the book, enjoying it, and peacefully but effectively mourning.

Man, if only the Internet could leak all the coming tragedies in my life. I'd be set.

It's here. And thanks to my friend for alerting me to this interview with Jo Rowling. I love her website, too...but it is harder to quickly glean information there. I've heard that the NY Times review gives a ton away - so I've steered clear, but I did read an excerpt that put the new book in the same class with great children's literature. And another excerpt from a reviewer saying she hadn't cried as hard since Charlotte died. Woe is me. Since my husband, a meticulous and slow reader, has the HBP first, I'll be finishing it up about the time my hormones are raging the hardest. Watch out.

I had two experiences with old women today. One experience was walking right behind an old woman when she let out a long, loud, trumpetous fart. It did not smell, but it was very loud and funny - you can find an example of it here, under "Skid Marks". The other old lady experience was shopping at the Food Lion with a woman who was easily 80 and yet dressed in a strapless cover-up and some shoes that are somewhat hip now, but I know were indeed from the past. Once the woman checked out, the cashiers all hooted and hollered and had a discussion that amounted to the opinion that if you want to flaunt it at that age, be our guest. I could see various troublesome lumps on the woman, and possibly some sort of heart cath in her chest, and then there were the floppy breasts that were offered no support. But I guess I agree with the cashiers.

As for Fart Lady, well, that is my future, I'm pretty darn tootin'. So I better just keep mum.

Are you really surprised???

Good times! The pool was empty today at lessons because of some filming of young boys by a guy whose picture was located here. Hats off to the astute mom who had her hackles up.

Then again, moms can be so annoying. There is a fine line, people. I do applaud that woman who felt troubled enough by the guy taping to look him up and file a police report. But I don't know how I feel about the moms who won't let a lifeguard take their child into the 10 feet section, or who tells me she was "really bad" by air-drying beach towels between lessons. (HA! Are you SUPPOSED to wash beach towels more than once a month or so?)

I was troubled by the kid in Utah who was left alone in the woods and could have been rescued but didn't want to talk to strangers. And I was also troubled by one of our family members who, while babysitting, let a strange man in our house to check out our belongings and thus give us a quote on insurance? That we never received? Again, there is a fine line. I hope to God I have enough sense to find it when I need it.

You think you're chocolate but you're chewing gum! Thank goodness MTV is good for something; apparently they have really irritated a lot of folk lately, including me. Not that I don't love "Newlyweds" and "Road Rules" etc.

But I don't.

Well, I don't like "Road Rules".

I'd like to check out "The L Word"....word on the street is that it sucks, and that it rocks and tis hot. Such varying criticism can only mean I'll probably be glued to the screen.

Did y'all watch? If not, go watchLive 8. I loved U2 and now I've gotten to see REM....I thought Madonna was pretty good and possibly pregnant, and I was pleasantly surprised by Will Smith.

And we should all be a little impressed by these artists who are fighting the power so effectively, especially with terrorist attacks happening right on the heels of Live 8.

I wanted to remind my husband that, last week when shark attacks were all over the news, he predicted a terrorist attack. Prior to 9/11, shark attacks were the biggest press story....life was slow and boring. Then we were attacked by an altogether different monster.

England has dealt with IRA bombings many times before, so it makes sense that the people there seem calm and stoic...as I said earlier, they are serious folk and I can believe that they are calling on the heroism that got them through oh, I don't know, the BLITZ and various other issues. It's just hard to see proud cities like Madrid, London, and New York turned into war zones and favorite places like King's Cross (though I do remember parts of King's Cross as being a bit dicey...and still I loved it) forever rememebered as a scene of horror.

So sorry, NYC....but we'll always have Paris. OR NOT! That is the only thing that takes the sting from New York's losing bid for the Olympics, and that is that Chirac's nasty crepe-talk apparently kept him from getting the goods.

And now poor London is dealing with terrorist attacks...the kind of random violence that will put its citizens on edge and bring on a haze of worry and sorrow. Can you imagine? Solid, serious London - everyone heading to work...the lovely double-decker bus, the clean and organized Tube.

And not that I'm worried about the future Supreme Court nominee or anything, but I have been listening to the news a bit more these tense past few days. My husband is obsessed with NPR's new commentator on all things Supremely jurisprudent, and apparently so is everyone else. Surely she won't go on maternity leave when the new nominee is about to be announced!!!