The gymnastically trained body is not the prettiest thing to look at. My main thought is this: what happens when you aren't working out 15 hours a day? When you discover double iced lattes with foam? When your shoulders pucker out to a size that is not thrice your hip width?

Basically: ewww. Then we examine the swimmers. Fundamentally: yumm. Say what you will about the butterfly stroke as work of art. Wax poetically about the arc of the back, the strong kick. I'd prefer to discuss the long torsos with rippling abdominal muscles FREE OF HAIR and the usually strong jaw that accompanies. Swimmer hands are usually good, too. I know this all for a fact...for a bright shining moment in my fresman year I dated a nationally ranked swimmer. Good times. We never got too jiggy with it but I did feel up his totally shaved and firm chest. Things turned sour around the time he was made to shave his entire self as a rite of passage for the swim team. Some guys look hip bald; this Wisconsin, fair-skinned native resembled an unripe embryo.

In fact, I think that is what my friends and I called him after we broke up: Embryo.

I know you're thinking that I turn every opportunity into a carnival of physical pleasure and appreciation. Think what you will. There ain't nothing wrong with looking.