I sometimes say that my husband is not a good roommate. He is romantic, funny, brilliant, a walking dictionary/history book/U.S. Constitution/policy think tank/poetry anthology, and a snappy dresser...but maybe a bit messy and disorganized, yes?

But I can't think of anyone I'd rather be in the trenches with, and that's a fact.

We spent our 18th wedding anniversary in bed. With fevers, chills, severe stomach upset, and the energy levels of slugs. After having driven back from Georgia with two children who had fevers, chills, projectile stomach upset (Huzzah, new car! You have been hereby baptized in the fire!), and the energy level of slugs.

But, again: with no one else would I have wanted to share that singular experience. No one.

Traditions

We don't really have any Thanksgiving traditions. There have been Thanksgivings in the mountains, here at our former apartments and homes, in New York City, at the beach, with friends, with family, and one time here at home just us four. The one constant could be turkey...and maybe brussels sprouts.

I love brussels sprouts. We roast them in the oven with olive oil, salt and pepper. I used to make a brussels sprouts/artichoke casserole from Southern Living. Um, why did I do that? SO yummy just roasted or under the broiler...maybe with a bit of pancetta or bacon...or a squeeze of lemon.

Pumpkin pie is sort of a constant, too. I like all things pumpkin and maybe mostly because of the color and smell! Aren't you the same? I often make the Libby's can pie recipe, but this year we are trying pumpkin pudding and some pumpkin cupcakes -- not just for Halloween!

(Why would you make sweets at Halloween anyway?)

Placecards at the table are a bit of a tradition. The ones we use now were created by the children and I really am at a stage where I should laminate them. Cute leaf stickers, fall-colored construction paper, and crayons - voila!

My Fair Lady is a tradition we stole from a friend of mine...she used to watch with her mom every year when her mom was alive. As a gift, I gave my friend a special edition DVD featuring recordings of Audrey Hepburn actually singing! And this year, instead of renting My Fair Lady from Netflix AGAIN, I used my Borders Bucks ™ rewards and got our very own DVD for next to nothing. Loverly!

Hmmm, in thinking about it, we do have a few traditions. What are yours?

Not Immune to Gratitude

Dudes and dudettes, one thing I do not enjoy right now is needing to go to Caring Bridge and Care Calendar every day to check on three people, two of them under 10 years old, who are really, really struggling. I am thankful for health, even though my own has been dicey. I have not been completely well in over a month, but I am getting there and my complaints, while somewhat debilitating, are curable and treatable.

My weirdest, latest illness involved vertigo so severe I could not lift my head from my pillow for more than a second without vomiting. Today I turned a serious corner and did my beloved Body Pump with no dizziness. It looks like - knock wood, fingers crossed, mojo/voodoo/prayer whatever - that I will be healthy heading into the Busy Season.

So to boost this new-found health, i plan to do a few things with my immune system. Like, romance it. Give it a little one-on-one time. Really listen to it, actively. Buy it a bauble, something shiny.

I'm going to cut down on alcohol. I love alcohol! I do. And I can't drink much as I am a bit of a lightweight. But I think cutting back as we enter the most wonderful time of the year is a good idea.

I'm taking a supplement - and vitamin C. And melatonin on nights when I'm not resting well (thanks Nansch - my doc thought that was a great idea!).

I'm going to rest well. I don't sleep well every night, but that is going to change, dammit! Wait, whoa...stress...no...calming down...

I'm going to be ridiculous about keeping up the exercise. Sometimes I let it slide, if work is calling...but this is just as important as work. I'm also focusing on getting some good old sunshine -created vitamin D.

I'm not going to sweat the small stuff. Small Stuff, you know what you are. I'm not going to sweat you.

I'm eating lower fat, higher protein, less sugars. Although Trader Joe's dried mango, you slay me.

I'm drinking butt-loads of water. Perhaps "butt-loads" is not the best descriptive noun here.

I'm laughing at my children, and loving our new pet. Love and laughter - the best medicine.

My wish for you this Thanksgiving is that you'll find good health on your gratitude list.

More Video

Tina Fey is the one I would invite to dinner if I could have anyone.

You Look Like Sh&t

Weekly Inspiration

Sumptuous costume and cinematography via Sofia Coppola



The Tudors



Local music



Fighting fair



(Conservative friends: I have been so nice, and so quiet! I've restrained from putting anything political on any page or out there at all, save my distaste for the Wake School Board's politicizing where there should be no politics. I don't even LIKE Keith Olbermann! Or what he did! But from what I can glean from various completely biased news sources, he only did what others have done for a long time now. After a self-imposed hiatus from any "biased" news I am going back whole hog. Ignore me at your pleasure!)

All Saints

Despite being sick, I mustered up the strength to go to our All Saints' service this morning. I usually have the role of ringing a bell for the dead. This year, with an inner ear virus, I gave that job to someone else. BONG BONG BONG is not what I needed today.

But the service, no matter what you believe about the afterlife, is incredibly peaceful. There is a painful beauty in remembering who has gone before. Our pastor does a lovely job of taking the fear out of death and while he doesn't extol the virtues and qualities of heaven, per se, he does remind us that love lives on no matter what.

And of course, the music. Today we had the harpist from the NC Symphony and she did a duet with our organist on the Fauré Requiem that had me shivering with goose bumps. Also? She's really nice and upbeat.

And one of my favorite sopranos sang the soaring solo on the "Lux Aeterna" from Rutter's Requieum. I was moved. But pulled it together to sing with her.

For they rest from their labours. Requieum aeternam dona eis Domine, et lux perpetua luceat eis.

Rhi Rhi

Hallowe'en

Well, we don't even have a pumpkin yet. The fact that Christmas is in full swing at BOTH of my jobs has something to do with that. But there is no school today, so we shall see if something can get done about this huge gaffe in the holiday merry-making.

(I should tell you that we have celebrated, however. I was at school most of yesterday with the "Fall Experience". That phrase never fails to entertain me. Several concessions were made, as the temperature was something like 85. So hot cider became ice water, etc. There was also the fair fun complete with bunny and the annual Fall Festival at our school, where my shift was to ensure that children did not go back into the Haunted House after they exited. Also, we were able to watch half of "The Addams Family" together as a family, the other half to be viewed sometime this weekend. RIP Raul Julia! Angelica Houston - unparalleled! Christina Ricci - brilliant!)

With everyone's various activities in full swing, we also haven't finalized costumes. Hoping to remedy that tomorrow - here's my son's idea:

And my daughter continues her stretch of Costume As Social Commentary by producing her own "high stakes gambler" outfit. I cannot find an image to capture her homemade, painted, and glue gunned couture, but rest assured the point comes across.

Other ideas I had were:

World Cup fan: soccer jersey, Vuvuzela. TERRIFYING!


Tony Hayward: fake tan, Hawaiian shirt, blank expression. YIKES!





Wake School Board Majority: You need a blonde hottie, grey hair spray, padding, and the other one. AGGGH!!





Mark Zuckerburg: GAP sweatshirt, wads of cash hanging out of your pockets, blank expression. HORRORS!



Joan Holloway: red updo, gold pen necklace, baby bump. SCARY! (for her, anyway)




Ok, I've got to go buy this pumpkin.

Happy Hallowe'en!

Even the NY Times Loves Bravo!

Patti in the news!

I should add that I saw a recent episode of Millionaire Matchmaker all the way through - for the first time. I was gripped, as the millionaire PROPOSED!

But of course he's a politician wannabe (now a politician) and she's a Playboy model (unbeknownst to Patti, apparently) and things ended in a flurry of MySpace commentary and badmouthing.

Oh well. Mazel Tov, Shadchen!

A Pivotal Day

Our pastor talked about days that change you in his sermon (that I heard twice, per my usual) yesterday. The day you are married. The day you hear you have cancer. The day you decide that you are not going to be mad anymore. The day your first child is born.

Last night, my daughter couldn't sleep because I happened to drop this gem on her right before bedtime:

"Tomorrow our lives will change!"

Because today we got our bunny. She was purchased at the fair last week and we have been in contact with her breeder? grower? previous owner? for a bit. But today was the day. Daddy went and got her and...

....fell instantly in love. Those of you who know him should be surprised at this - I sure was! But he has had a teensy turnaround in recent days. Maybe he was worried ahead of time and had acceptance spread upon him. Last night, his answer to daughter's not sleeping was to give her a mantra to repeat to herself. It was, and I quote,

"Breathe in, 'I'm getting a bunny', breathe out, 'I love my bunny'".

I'm pausing here whilst you laugh.

Anyway, she's soft as hell. And interesting to watch and interact with. No biting and poop output is minimal. It's only day one, of course. But so far, so good. For today, at least, we are happy and full of joy and love. A day that has changed us.

To Sleep, Perchance

My sleep has been seriously disrupted. This is NOT what I expected from my children's older childhood/tween years.

My daughter suffers from....high metabolism? Combined with a bit of anxiety? With a dash of the common sleep problems associated with adolescence? We've determined that she has to exercise, heartily, every day. Otherwise, she has trouble going to sleep and then decides it is best to come wake me up to tell me this fact.

I met several parents at a sporting event recently who told me they give their children melatonin. But isn't that a hormone? We're not giving her melatonin.

So last night, after Daddy had been in charge all day, she comes in at 1:30 a.m. (ok, it was this morning) to tell us she can't sleep. I asked if she had had caffeine...and Daddy said, no, just a Vitamin Water.


Sigh.

We had baby and toddler nieces here this weekend. Their parents are very good with them and I really didn't hear them at all. But there was the one night that toddler fell out of her bed. I have to say, I was impressed with myself for hearing the thump and racing to her aide...until her mom showed up, from two flights of stairs, 2 seconds later! Remember the sonic hearing of the new mom? Yeah, my sis-in-law's like, BIONIC.

Between poor sweet niece's fall and worry about the fact that my boss was sick and I was thus in charge of a huge musical extravaganza at work, no sleep.

I'm not a great sleeper anyway. My friend Lynn, with whom I've shared a room at various conferences and getaways, is always making me jealous. Her small black-haired head flops down on a pillow at some point in the evening and NEVER. MOVES. AGAIN.


I do know that exercise helps me. And I'm back on supplements and am taking yoga back up for relaxation. What helps YOU sleep?

In a Pinch, I DJ

I just returned from Body Pump class. The instructor's iPod died during our first set.

"Who has an iPod?"

Um, me?

Um, all of my songs are explicit?

Oh wait, here's a playlist....with a bunch of Captain Underpants and Spongebob songs....KIDS!!! Grrr.

But: how about "HEY BABY"! (Squats commence!)


We move on to biceps and triceps...and I'm not sure I can find anything.

"Do you have any rap?"

Um, yes? BUT IT'S FILTHY!!

We settle on some "Empire State of Mind" and a couple of Rhianna songs.

I started getting creative at this point...and I tried some TV on the Radio for lunges. Yeah, that didn't go over as well. Then I found an old Madonna song (that I happen to love - unusual in that I like Madonna's singles but never her albums...this one was not a single) for abs.

And CRUNCH! CRUNCH! CRUNCH to the SIDE!


Finally, cool down. I was thinking about it in my head the whole set of crunches. Dare I attempt Avett Brothers? Taylor Swift had already been rejected. There was the Mamma Mia! soundtrack to consider. I had U2's "No Line On the Horizon" - surely something soothing in that...

but ultimately I went back to my tried and true.

Reader, I went with REM. From Automatic for the People! And we all felt restored and renewed and fully stretched.

The Rain

We've had so much rain. And yet, last week I was in the depths of despair because I feared it would never rain again. We had six weeks of hot, dry weather...with barely even a cloud in the sky save the one day a tropical storm came by us and spat six drops and snubbed its nose and went on about its business.

So on Sunday night we were all perplexed, amazed, and, apparently, instantly rendered unable to drive properly. Rain came down in buckets. FOR 24 HOURS. Then we had a day of sunshine. Then, more rain, in buckets...for OVER 24 HOURS. I believe that's all over with for us, but our friends in Wilmington should get slammed the rest of today.

Two funny things happened in the rain. On the way to school this morning, my son (who is in a very good mood in the mornings - this will change next year with the 6:15 wakeup) and I were listening to our dj friend as we do. She played a 70s rock song that I couldn't take at that moment, so I switched to our jazz station. A peppy swing number was on. Son sighed and said, "On a rainy morning, I prefer SLOW jazz."

I'm with you, brother.



Another funny thing is that my children reverted back to fort building for the duration of the storm. All sports were canceled...for the first time all season, I might add. This meant some free time and some rare inside time. They took all of the blankets, towels, stuffed animals, weights, hats, and spare paper in the house and constructed an enormous system of rooms and tunnels.

It was more than a little humbling to watch this week's Mad Men with it's destructive quality and then have to get on all fours to exit the den.

They are each writing notes to "my neighbor" and have decorated with comfy pillows, flashlights, and until this moment when I decided to blog, my laptop.

There's more rain called for on Monday. I'm letting them keep it up.

Rap Thursday

If I hear one more person act surprised that I like rap, I'm agonna let them finish...and then....

Seriously! What the hell! Did YOU not like the rap? DO you not like the rap?

Girl rap = bananas.

Summoned

I guess this is pretty much what I've been thinking about.

Hopscotch

There is an indie rock festival in our town! Featuring not only some of the most intriguing new bands of today, but easily one of my top five influential bands, Public Enemy, as a headliner!

And we aren't going.

We are 1. broke, 2. overbooked, and 3. exhausted. One of the many "this is so awesome"/"Raleigh you rock" tweets last night as the festival got underway was a welcome, "I'm having to be satisfied reading tweets about my favorite bands instead of seeing them live. #havingkidschangesyourlifefortheworse" Or something akin to that. I agreed (though not really - I do love my urchins).

So tonight, as a local fave plays in front of my husband's office and then is followed by members of Animal Collective and the band Broken Social Scene, and then tomorrow night when Public Enemy fights the power that be, I shall be here with my children and then at my book club annual retreat. The children just aren't worth the $30 ticket. The book club has been neglected far too long.

So what is the light at the end of this dark, musically-bereft tunnel? The fact that we actually ATTENDED Hopscotch today! For the geezers, they had music DURING. THE. DAY. I blew off an appointment, grabbed my hubby, and went, in mom jeans, to a club. At noon! And there were beers! And good old friends, and some new ones too! And music! By a band I knew a little, and grew to love during their set!

I grew to love my husband a little bit more, too. That was truly one of the best hours I've had in months. Happy Hopscotch Weekend, all you hipsters! I joined you, if only for a little while, in rock solidarity.

Do You Remember?

Ah, Labor Day. A weekend where I....work. However, we have a lot of down time planned this weekend and hope to soak up some local culture, splash in our local pool, and dine on some local summer favorites before they go dormant.

September Sucks is my mantra...school/heavy workload/hurricane season, etc. There have been distractions from the usual mêlée, I must say. Such as:

Injuries and Illness

My Form + Function friend had gum surgery. As I told her, I KNOW YOUR PAIN. Ouchie, oh ouchie ouchie. My pastor broke his shoulder coming out of a Starbucks. His right shoulder - his healing, hugging shoulder. Bless. The many children we know with ailments are all doing ok...some in worse shape than others, but a few actually coming out just fine after, say, having a boat propeller slice up their back, or falling out of a high window....

Ok, on to a more positive diversion:

Nic Cage

I love him, I do. I saw "Valley Girl" four times in the one week it screened in Macon, GA. And I was hooked - for life. So we rented "Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans". Yeah, I sat through about an hour until he smoked crack with a (very young) party girl in a parking lot with his gun out and....other things...out...and in. Anyway, harsh. But so great! I thought my husband would love it but he had trouble sleeping after completing the film. And to that I say: nice work, Nic!

The Emmys

I am starting to hate award shows...even though I am pulling most faithfully for people I love who might be up for said awards....but then there was this:



Happy!

Also, some lovely ladies....refer to Go Fug Yourself for highlights. Speaking of Glee, Heather Morris who plays Brittany, was possibly my very favorite.




Sparkly!

Long Overdue

Love him or hate him, Kanye West is first an artist. His new video proves it. I'm hopeful you've seen it before but if not, voila.
Please be patient and watch the commercial first. And then push it into full screen.

I Hate This Part Right Here

Everyone I know is in a funk...whether they are sending a kid off to school, tired of the heat, or tired of the rain (all day today!), or bellyaching about going back to work...they are just funky.

I'm the worst offender.

I feel so...sensitive. So delicate and easily broken. I know the anticipation of the busyness and crazed schedule is worse than the reality - I know it! But one can't tell oneself that, it seems.

So how to stay calm in a crazy time. Yes, yes, we all remind ourselves how lucky we are. And boy, we are REALLY lucky. I have some dear friends going through some shit. Sorry for the NSFW but this is legitimate shit they are going through. Like, health shit. The worst kinds. Also financial shit. The recession has affected me in ways that don't seem that high-impact. I mean, we were always frugal and we didn't paint ourselves into financial corners. But there are those that are AFFECTED. I do think gratitude is an important part of every day. One can always turn to The Gratitude Journal app for iPhone ™. Just tap tap tap what you are thankful for right into your phone for daily affirmation and reminders.

The Vision Board app, also featured on the above link, just makes me tired. Look at it! Stickies and pictures of money - blech.



Exercise is a great stress-reliever for me. It is a great energy-producer for my husband. I like to take Body Pump and Body Flow classes at my gym, but lately I've really enjoyed the Wii Fit that my daughter got for her birthday. I was anti-video game for so long and now my day is not complete without doing plank or Ski Slalom or Kung Fu on the Wii. My Mii is plump but lately I've noticed her getting trimmer. Plus, she is FINALLY at a decent "real age" after I was able to find a good center of balance.



As you know, I enjoy the alcohol. I look forward to a drink after a long day...especially if I don't have to drive a carpool later on that evening. My friend Lynn hooked me up with Canton, a ginger liqueur. She serves it with pear vodka, but I find that it is just as delicious mixed into straight vodka for a gingery martini. Hubby pours a splash into his Maker's Mark. Wowza! Ginger is a naturally calming root, too. And mixed with vodka, hell! It's a wonder drug!


Finally, where would we be without relaxing music. I would offer up some of the cool hip indie music I have in rotation, but a lot of it is disturbing or so deliciously rocktastic that it will not soothe you (Arcade Fire, Vampire Weekend, Kanye, Matthew Dear). Some of it is chill. ax. Zero 7 is a favorite of my spouse's and they have a nice new compilation out, Record. On iTunes radio, under the Ambient section, they've taken away my beloved Groove Salad station (it got me through several tropical storms) but you can get it on the sona.fm web site. I also listen to Café Monet and the hilarious Birdsong radio (um, a bunch of chirps. Surprisingly calming!). Jazz-wize, I've been enjoying Nnenna Freelon (Durham's own!) and her latest release. She sang on Mad Men and I didn't even know it! Beach House can be sweet, and they are playing Raleigh in October. (I'll be at a soccer game, so someone let me know how that goes.)



So there you have it - a few ways to relax. Just writing this has been incredibly therapeutic for me, I must say. Of course, I have nothing for dinner and soccer practice in an hour and school starts tomorrow....let me go put on that bird tweet station....