I've not known how to put down my thoughts on Hillary in this forum, knowing that many of you read it are Republicans, some are devotedly in love with Senator Obama, and some couldn't give a shit about any politics....but you should know that I am one of those people who really wanted to see her win.

I know she had crooked real estate dealings. I know her "marriage" is non-traditional. I know she is power hungry. I know she's a bitch. ("Yeah. She is...and so am I....") Yet, I was given a chance to vote for a smart, qualified, experienced (please don't flinch when I use that word....Obama is plenty experienced and everyone knows it) candidate who cares about the issues I do and who happens to be a woman. This may not happen again in my lifetime, nor my daughter's. But I can tell my daughter, regardless, about the time someone really did put those 18,000 cracks in the glass ceiling and really changed things for women in America. I'll tell her, too, that on a pre-menstrual, rainy night I watched Hillary's speech at 3:30 a.m. (you try sleeping when your hormones are causing your synapses to snap, crackle and pop) and I cried...even when I was bored by the stats and politicospeak...because we had a chance to see what a woman can do leading America and that chance, for now, is gone.

I am supporting Obama/Biden 100% and I plan to talk to my fellow Hillary supporters (especially those who will perhaps head McCain's way) about why. I believe Obama will work with Senator Clinton, Speaker Pelosi, and other ladies in leadership positions. And finally, I think Michelle Obama will be as powerful a first lady as we've seen....not since the likes of....Hillary.

I just love the New York Times fashion moments...just a little video blurbette for the interested observer.

When I have time, I also peruse Face Hunter for street style. They are going further and further abroad, though, so I don't find it as accessible.

I know, I know, the Democratic National Convention starts and the Closing Ceremonies were ridiculous and it might RAIN HERE...shocker....but sometimes you need a break from all that seriousness.

Welcome to the Team!

I get it. I just don't like it.

Crocs Don't Rock

From Dooce:

"So we walked over to the ENORMOUS display, I'm talking racks and racks, almost an acre of genital wart-inducing gnome shoes, and she heads straight for the green ones, and I'm all, no way, no how, this right here is called compromise, or in some circles they call it laying down the law. I like to call it There Is No Amendment To The Constitution That States You Get To Choose What Color Of Ugly Shoe Your Mother Is Averse To Even Let You Look At."

Sorry all you. I feel the same way, and thank God Mr. Puma and Ms. Old Navy Slip-On That is Too Big By a Wide Margin haven't mentioned them.

Songs of a Season, by Maureen N. McLane

for here or to go--

a glass mug, a paper cup --

life is fast, art slow

_____

only a few years

before all that I am blows

free, subatomic

______

not for me that life

the careless joy of the dog

not for me that leap

_____

how to say

beautiful weekend

in chinese?

_____

is "weekend" a concept 

in China?

______

rose petals fell

and the wine uncorked itself

for our pleasure...

______

what comfort

do you not give me

little cat?

_____

wheatfield bleached near blond

light licking the Luberon

and the sea beyond

_____

the cherry orchard

harvested but for one tree

found that afternoon

_____

yesterday I saw a fox

then saw

it was a deer

all year

I have been mistaking

the hunted

for hunter

_____

for the lilacs the bees

for the maples the jays

for the locust the chickadee

for the lavendar the butterfly

for the bleeding heart the ruby throat

for my lips your tanned throat

______

in mandarin

The Little Szechuan Place

in english

Shangri-La

this modest joint

serves taiwanese home cooking

pigs' ears, beef rolls, doughnuts

for dipping in soy milk

_____

 air thick

with lilac

the strong sun liquefying

the street

_____

mosquito whine

dinnertime

______

mourning dove at evening

and the ancients thought Venus

two stars equally bright

at morning and evening

doubling the source

of day's beauty

_____

your plum lips

your slim hips

fingertips

_____

and while I was not thinking

the lake rolled on

and while I was thinking

on a soft summer day sitting by the lake

I missed the lake

_____

with my swizzle stick

and my scissor kick

I'm set for summer

drinks on the deck

and dives from the dock

the main halyard's new

nylon white and blue

the old mainsail's patched

no mice in the hatch

let's cast off from the dock

and break out the bock

set sail for Split Rock

_____

reached for a raspberry

got a nettle

forgot the stove flame

burnt the old kettle

______

caffe latte -- "caf
or decaf?" little choices
of an afternoon

Of all the things that John Edwards did, or didn't do, that have now
come to light and merit our questions and judgement, the one that
annoys me the most is that he has completely legitimized the National Enquirer. In fact,
by calling their (spot-on) reports "tabloid trash", he has given them
claim to a moral superiority he himself once had. Or, perhaps, he never had this touted moral superiority. Gail Collins says: "If Edwards’s political career is toast, it will be because he has always seemed to be less than a sum of his parts: the position papers, the “Two Americas,” the photogenic grin, the supersmart wife. The only piece of the package that consistently disappointed was the man himself."

Maureen Dowd put the skewer in snugly by calling Edwards' infidelity "oncologically correct". I myself would say that the infidelity is politically correct, as in lots of politicians do it. The decision to do it after trotting one's cancer-stricken wife onto the campaign trail, continuing to campaign for a desperate Democratic Party's nomination, and then lying about it - and funding or having knowledge of the funding of - the cover-up.....well, Senator, there's the rub.

What Would Joan Holloway Do?

Baby got BACK! I love her. (You can also ask Don Draper.)

New episode, tonight at 10. I better stay awake, remember to watch it, and avoid the Olympics. Which may be hard to do. I know, I know....get TiVo.

I am typing from a stand-up station at the library. Our computer is down...AGAIN...but things are looking up. As in, we probably won't be buying a new computer til next year. Some guy sitting next to me at the genius bar (NOT the genius working on my machine) may have solved our problem. Thank you, Greybeard Genius Bar Guy, for suggesting more RAM. We'll let you know how it goes, should we ever run into you again.

More randomness - I promise to get organized soon! I got my hairs cut (as we like to say in our family). Only 5 people have noticed, and of those only 3 seem to like it. My husband loves it, but we all know what his ulterior motives are. My daughter reminded me that it only matters if I like it. And I do.

Top 5 Things I Love About My Baby Niece:

1. She likes me and smiles when she sees me!
2. She opens her mouth wide with amazement...lots.
3. She is completely irresistible when asleep and one wants to wake her and play with her.
4. She drinks and eats heartily and poops the same way.
5. When hiking, attached to an adult in a Baby Bjorn, she sings/talks non-stop.

My session is running out here in the library, and I must go give blood anyway. Have YOU given blood lately? Just asking.

Say what you will about our beloved Chick-Fil-A, but it made the grade. I will admit to occasionally getting fatty spicy dressing (heaven) and sweetened tea, but still.

Did you watch Mad Men's premiere? If not, you can mooch off your connected friends and see not only the missed premiere, but the 2nd episode too!!!! Big secrets revealed! Smarmy! Hot fashion and cocktails!

Do you live in town? If so, make plans now to attend the NC premiere of "Ready? OK!" starring people I like and admire, and a family-friendly couple of hours. Get tickets here.

Random Musings

Do you want to see Helen Mirren in a bikini? THE ANSWER IS, YES, YOU DO. Good gravy! Like the Fug Girls, I, too am in love.

Do you want to see "The Dark Knight"? I do, and yet am scared, and yet if I can sit through most of "Children of Men" (a recent rental) I think I can. Reviews of interest here, here, and here (though I truly hate our paper's reviewer at the moment. Why all the Will Smith hate, Craig Lindsey???)

The Olympics always tire me out. One more thing to do, and one more excuse to not exercise - instead, I watch fiercely competitive, passionate people in amazing shape go out and do dramatic physical feats whilst sitting on my ass. Still, one is inspired by Dana Torres, if only because she is 41 and a mom. I don't believe the doping semi-hype. I think she just rocks.

The New Yorker, my only source of cultural reference for many years and a magazine I've subscribed to since I was less than 30, is getting some major criticism over this week's cover. My copy hasn't come yet. My newspaper columnist friend has weighed in, and my mother-in-law left a message this morning bemoaning the offensiveness of the cover and her desire to quit her subscription in protest. Anywho, the artwork seems to be in bad taste, but I would agree that perhaps it might have gone a bit under the radar had Obama's campaign not brought it up at all. We'll see how I feel when I hold the issue in my hands.

We're gone for a week. The cat is well cared-for, we have folks staying in our house whilst we are gone so don't even think about it, and there is rain forecast for my new plantings. Goodbye, and good luck.

MORE Happiness! Rocky rocky!

The album is due September 13.

Another Reason to be Happy

I found, via about four other websites, a treatise on How to Be Happy.

See #1. And my own personal fave would be #3, but you probably know that about me.

During this session of Camp Grandma, we've had three delish dinners and feel very much at ease with one another. It's crazy how you forget a lot about the person you are married to when you run a cab service/diner/laundromat.

We had tasty but surprisingly expensive Indian food from our fave place in town. UTI, I know you react badly when spicy food is introduced, but I don't care. Chicken Tikka Masala forever! That night we watched "Juno", which I had already seen. I repeat that the supporting players damn near outshine the cute and perky Ellen Page.

The second night was the big night out. I rested all day hoping to be up for it, put on a newish frock, and we went downtown. We checked in on my hubby's new building, then went to Fins. Thank God my boss had given me a gift certificate for my birthday. Sheesh, was it pricey - but worth every penny. The atmosphere is so chic, the service so unobtrusive, the food so ridic....and me, just in from Chi-town and New York! I daresay we had my fave meal EVER in the Triangle that night. We went to The Mint for dessert, which was fun and bar-hoppish, but I wish we'd stayed at Fins, in retrospect. I did enjoy my lemon verbena creme brulee but the green tea biscotti tasted a bit like seaweed.

Oh, so what did we have at Fins: the Thai snapper for him, the mango-salad Sea Bass deal for me, the hot pot appetizer selection of a Thai soup with shrimps. GOOD FREAKING TIMES.

Last night we had to go to a soccer meeting for my daughter's team, which was crazy, but it made us feel like we deserved another expensive night out. We went back to a tried and true place, Margaux's, which has been around since we got married in '92. They even had vintage menu items from '92 as choices! I got another great piece of fish but wow, was it filling with a She-Crab bisque surrounding it. My husband got duck. I love duck. I love all the cute animals.

So today I'm hopin' and prayin' he comes home from work early and we can go see "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and laugh and relive our Hawaii trip, and then get a LIGHT dinner with NO alcohol (eesh I'm a bit hungover from a very tobacco-y Zin last night).

I promise to get back to bitter, angry, and edgy posting next week sometime.

Because I am a nice wife, I will occasionally jazz up our Netflix queue with a boy movie, especially after a slew of costume dramas. I was very, very brave last week to watch, in its entirety, ""I Am Legend".

I didn't expect to completely adore it.


Will Smith is a pretty thing to see. I've always liked him, despite the Scientology rumours and his way of naming children. He and his wife seem on equal footing, they work well with the ex-wife apparently, and I love that a black man in Hollywood gets the recognition and money that white actors have claimed for so long. I mean, look at them!

But. To single-handedly carry along a plot line - and a crazy one at that - for at least an hour of a major film. That is something that few have done - Tom Hanks comes to mind. I remember a New York friend telling me, after seeing "I Am Legend" in the theatre, that she wished she "hadn't seen my city in that state". I can understand - the shots of Manhattan completely uninhabited, wild, and decaying are amazing and horrible. Still, one can't take their eyes off of Will Smith. He's believeable as a military medical genius, he's believable as a survivorist, he's believable as someone whose sense of self is slipping away.

That said, the movie falls off at the end. The questions of faith and science are nice touches (a la "Lost), and without spoiling it for you I can reveal that other characters appear in various states of humanity. The way the movie MIGHT have ended, however, is highly preferable.

Take some time, if you've seen "I Am Legend", and watch the alternate ending. I believe this was how the movie should have finished. Now to read the books!

Camp Grandma

My children are on their second jaunt to "Camp Grandma". The first occurred during my jet-setting. (In the space of four months I went to London, Atlanta, Chicago, and New York. Who you calling BORING, huh???) Yesterday, the urchins left with their grandparents for a brief trip - we'll see them Friday afternoon. One would have thought that they were being shipped to the country for their safety. I'm not complaining: I can't remember a time, even during the sweet toddler years, that I've felt such affection and attention from them. I also can't help but wonder if I'm raising them to be too dependent on me and their dad. Of course I want them to fly....but my gut tells me that they need stability and assurance at this point, so I am encouraging and push a bit, but also return their love.

The minute they left I was expected at a staff retreat. We sat outside in the hot. Still, there was a breeze, it was poolside at a lovely in-town home with a gorgeously landscaped yard, and there was lemonade and watermelon along with catty asides and frustrations (and occasional problem-solving, too).

So obviously when that was over, I left and fled to the gym since I never get to go during the summer. No parking! ANYWHERE! WTF?????


Then, I went home thinking I'd go for a walk -- the temp had cooled. But there was nausea, and pain, and I spent the rest of our first night of alone time in a fetal position waiting for my doctor to call in a round of antibiotics. My dear husband drove me to an all-night pharmacy at 11 p.m. I fell asleep in the car waiting for him and promptly had a nightmare that I was driving and the brakes went out. Honey, if you're reading, I promise we will go out tonight to somewhere more fun, and possibly less expensive than the Cipro was!

Let's Talk About...

....sex, baybeeee.

First, having sex. You can, if you want to, in most cases! Especially if you are, say, a white suburban married woman or perhaps a thirty-something hipster guy with really cute fashion sense. You may want to have sex a LOT, or you may opt out of marital relations. One hundred days in a row, or even 365 days in a row seems....monotonous, but goals are worth having! Not having sex seems to be a common ailment amongst a lot of married couples I know. There are a variety of reasons folks don't do it, and most have to do with daily life and its trevails. Still, it seems like a good idea to get on the bandwagon, at least every now and again. Ok, ladies? Give it up for your guy tonight! Guys: spend a little extra time, please!

By the way, married sex is going to gain some new fans AND haters, soon!


One of the reasons I've been thinking about this topic is that my book club has voted on, basically, a porno (but highly regarded and critically lauded) graphic novel for one of our selections. This has been a tough decision, and maybe offensive to some members of our club. I won't even link to the book here for fear of repurcussions, but my initial forays into the selection left me aroused, offended, and even a bit bored. I'll let you know how THAT discussion goes, when and if it happens!

Finally, there is occasional discussion of the birds and the bees around here. Now, I'm not exactly like the Family Kinsey, but I'm trying to be open and truthful, and still respectful of the age and the innocence and the general repulsion a ten year-old might have. To say that this is like walking a tightrope is about right. It seems to me that the biggest issue someone just finding out about sex might have is why it is, and how it came to be, so very important. Sure, people make babies via this vehicle, but they also do it for nefarious and self-satisfying reasons. And it is everywhere - music, movies, books, adverts. I'm trying to give it its due whilst still making sure that its mores are known and respected. Tough task, that.

R.E.M. at Walnut Creek June 10th, 2008

First, I can safely publish the set list thanks to a. this GENIUS and welcome site and b. my husband taking notes on his Blackberry. I generally hate the new trend in concerts wherein people feel compelled to call friends, take photos, hold up the glowing white light of their phone during a ballad, etc. Still, I enjoyed texting my boss (who was at the Cubbies v. Braves in Chicago) and an old college friend (who got last-minute 12th row seats, grrr) during the show.

So....here's a preview of the show....


....and here's the setlist typed out:

Harborcoat (!!!!!)
Living Well's The Best Revenge
Bad Day
Whats the Frequency, Kenneth?
1,000,000 (!!!????)
Man-Sized Wreath
Welcome To The Occupation
Accelerate
7 Chinese Brothers
Hollow Man
Imitation of Life
Houston (not quite as greasy awesome as on the record, sadly)
Electrolite
Walk Unafraid (I've heard this live now probably 5x)
The One I Love
Final Straw
Find The River
Let Me In (acoustic!)
Horse To Water
Auctioneer (Another Engine) (OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Orange Crush
I'm Gonna DJ

Encore:

Supernatural Superserious
Losing My Religion
Pretty Persuasion (Um, haven't heard that live since, oh, I don't know, 1989?)
Fall On Me (w/Johnny Marr)
Sitting Still (w/Mitch Easter and Don Dixon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Man On The Moon

I should not type anything more before stating that, as you may have read, Stipe wore a SUIT. The entire time. This was no small feat. After "Harborcoat" (a wholly unexpected and delightful opener), Stipe said, "Welcome to the R.E.M. weight-loss program 2008". But he professed to love the heat, as a Georgia boy.

(I did NOT love the heat. It was blinding. Though, my husband did text me, whilst on a beer run, that I am hot when I sweat.)

Stipe only mentioned Obama twice. Amazing!

He was appropriately chatty, which pleased me. Many of Mssr. Stipe's comments centered around his love for the Raleigh area. So nice, especially considering that he travels the world regularly. R.E.M. has a lot of history here, and we were the site of Bill Berry's one and only reunion with the band (in 03...a show that was not even that amazing, except that the completely unthinkable happened. The audience was rapt...it was an incredible moment.)

The set and lighting were, as usual, strange and mysterious and great. R.E.M. works with avant-garde filmmakers and designers, so I expect nothing less. I can tell where they were headed: "Remember, we are a stadium band who make stadium rock, but we want the look and feel of an indie film." They got it.

Peter Buck barely rates notice in concert, which is very rock n' roll. The night of the 10th he was lazy on some songs, especially some of the older stuff, but he was inspiring on new songs like "Accelerate" and "Supernatural Superserious". I could have been listening to a guitarist half his age in a club twenty times smaller.

I'm not complaining about the old songs, though. Being with my husband and with my old college friend and hearing them was nostalgia exemplified. My friend took me to see R.E.M. and Let's Active at the Township in Columbia, SC, about a two-hour drive from Greenville where we attended college. I love the Internet, cause I can look back and see what that show was like -

17 November 1986 - Township Auditorium, Columbia, SC
support: Let's Active
set: These Days / West Of The Fields / Harborcoat / Crazy / The One I Love / Feeling Gravitys Pull / The Flowers Of Guatemala / Pipeline / Cuyahoga / Tired Of Singing Trouble / I Believe / Swan Swan H / Lightnin' Hopkins / Superman / Can't Get There From Here / Old Man Kensey / Pretty Persuasion / Auctioneer (Another Engine) / Little America
encore: Driver 8 / Harpers / Fall On Me / Strange / I Can Only Give You Everything

And to that I say, LORD HAVE MERCY. My friend (who still rocks) and our fellow concert-mates (one of whom I recently found again, and the others...whoever they were) got up to the very front of the crowd, nabbed a set-list after the show, and received pieces of Stipe's flannel shirts (he also had hair then). This was not unusual in those days...during one Athens show in the 80s I recall leaving a front-and-center position to go outside, and then coming back in and getting right back up front. After the Township show, my buddy introduced me to Mitch Easter. Dude!

I've only seen my friend once since he graduated in '87? I think? but through the magic of technology we reunited at this R.E.M. show, near 22 years later. The band brings us all together in harmony and love, promoting peace and happiness and rock wherever they go.

OK SO BACK TO THE SHOW:

Here are the notes I jotted down on my early-ass flight to Chicago the very next morning:

Mike Mills had his traditionally goofy stage presence, but his vocals! They were spot-on and as moving and pretty as I've ever heard them. Well done, sir!

Seeing Mitch Easter and Don Dixon come out for "Sitting Still" was not as exciting as Bill coming back, but fun nonetheless and really set Raleigh's show apart. I am very grateful to R.E.M. for doing shit like that, as my Chicago trip made Raleigh seem ultra-boring. But Chicago's R.E.M. show was not as long OR as cool. So HA.

You may know that Johnny Marr came onstage to play on "Fall on Me". That was fun and 80s but didn't sound all that spectacular. Still, seeing Marr in person was very Smithstatistic....as for Modest Mouse, I could have done with about 20 minutes less of them. Jerry, of my college days, texted that they sucked - I wouldn't go that far, but I do think they need to vary up their tempos a bit. Johnny was good & jangly.

The National opened and I was in a very, very hot and humid heaven. I have a thing for the lead singer (he's a baritone! So unusual in pop music today) and the drummer is crazy-good. They didn't have the drums as loud in the mix as on the record, which was disappointing, but they really sounded lovely. The band kept a great rapport with the crowd and played a finely tuned set. I was impressed...you will be, too, if you have not yet checked them out.


I have a hand cramp, so let me wrap this up:

I was eager to hear the acoustic version of "Let Me In", the fabled ode to Kurt Cobain which was probably also an ode to River Phoenix and now, probably an ode to Heath Ledger (also a friend of Stipe's). I preferred Mike Mills's keyboards on "Electrolyte", though that song was not quite as successful as "Let Me In". The acoustic accompaniment was pretty, but Mssr. Stipe's vocals made "Let Me In" ethereal. I read somewhere, sometime, that Bono called Stipe our modern-day Bing Crosby. It's true: he sings beautifully and loftily, and evokes so much.

Also, such a dandy poseur and dancer, and all, as I've said, IN A SUIT in the HEAT.

The overiding themes of the show were political protest and enviromentalism, Not a bad idea in these trying times. One was reminded, amidst all the politics, of how relevant the band's stands have been for lo these many years. Still, there was never too much seriousness, and the nostalgia of the golden oldies never got in the way of the new, the untried, the technologically marvelous, and the driving rock and roll.

It Happens

My son tossed his bathing suit into the toilet, thinking he was putting it in the shower. My daughter never flushes after pooping. The washing machine is currently running.

This after hanging at Lynn's pool and her baby pooped in his swim diaper (this is a very, very horrible phenomena if you are not familiar with it). This action caused her daughter to throw up. Then the diaperless baby peed on my swim bag. What could we do but laugh?

I'm happy to report that I had diarrhea three times today. No salmonella - just the normal life of a 40 year old woman, it seems.

Field Day took place in heat, humidity, and goose droppings.

And don't get me started about the cat.