At the dreaded football game yesterday (and I say dreaded because I dreaded it), there was much not to like. Crowds, a bunch of white girls in the same strapless dresses with the same long shiny hair, drunk frat boys in mandals, and overpriced concessions. At the end of the game we headed out to get our football where it had been stowed away at the advice of the gate security, only to not find it. And our seats were on the sunny side which wasn't too bad on an 80 degree day, but I missed out on the loveliness of that temperature and only felt its fury.

But I had a good time. I liked doing something nice for my hubby, though as many of you know I am VERY nice to him, ahem, all the time in a VARIETY of ways, you feel me? We saw our dear friend Kevin - it had been so many years! And he was still handsome, still interesting (several Peace Corps tours, now an artistic type and living in a great American city), and still so enjoyable. My son got into the football so very, very much....and my daughter saw some friends and learned more about the game she finds mildly interesting (though it is not soccer, you understand). The chicken was good and greasy, the sweet tea was glycemic-shock inducing, and the football was some good times.

I just don't know how people spend that much of their time doing that sort of thing EVERY WEEKEND. In this area you can attend something like we did without the drive, of course - many of our schools are just down the road a piece. But what we did yesterday takes commitment. I don't have it, but I do think I'll go back. If only for the pure, sweet pain involved with reliving my drunken college days, or for the mindless, innocent entertainment. Or maybe for the F-15s.

I grew up hearing a lot of harping about tithing - giving 10% of your income to the church. I also grew up hearing that sex was evil and rock and roll wasn't worthwhile and that my hometown was the be all/end all of locations in which to exist.

But hearing about it and seeing it happen are two different things. My parents, though very middle-class and both working, gave to their church and their community. They gave heavily of their time and as much as they could of their money. And now I see my brother giving generously and I try really hard. I often wish for more money, as lofty as this sounds, so I could give it away.
There are just too many good causes and too many ways to help.

Some charity is under attack - see this article (reg. req'd). Some of the causes we end up donating to are really not about what we believe or support, but who we know. Sometimes, I feel like the children attend a private school for all the cash I'm doling out, but I do that with an open mind and heart.

Not everyone I know gives money. Sometimes I think people weren't taught it, as I was. I also believe there are those whose focus is intensely on their own family and so the money must stay in the inner circle. I'm trying to understand it and not be holier-than-thou about it. And yet I really, firmly believe that what you give out comes back to you. I know! The girl who thinks we lie dead in the ground with a big batch of nothingness actually thinks "pay it forward" is for real!

Whilst on this topic so near and dear to my heart, check out this cause that indirectly supports a child and his wonderful family, also near and dear to my heart. If you feel inclined to give, please do so...but truly no pressure. I'm hopeful that your budget is already tapped by a myriad of good causes.

Quality awards, people! Unlike the MTV VMAs. Am I getting old? It was so LOUD! And so tedious. I ended up watching VH-1 classic, which was showing Truth or Dare.

Also? I'm sorry we missed out on our local Hooter's "Kid's Night", where all children dine free on Sundays.

We're back from New York and I'm in a Manhattan frame of mind. I'm still humming the inexplicably beautiful songs from "Spring Awakening" and I feel like my legs are still walking city blocks. I don't need to live there but I need a little bit of there to live here. You feel me?

The trailer for Elizabeth: The Golden Age has arrived and is attached herewith:

I just watched it...and I just climaxed.

And thank goodness, too, because my latest Philippa Gregory was a might disappointing.

Perhaps you yourself are not turned on by the Virgin Queen? Or by La Blanchett? Or by CLIVE OWEN? And if you are not, you are not worth my time, so away with you.

For those of us who live here, we know it is NOT "Raleigh-Durham". In fact, if we have to have the dashes, it should really be "Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill - Morrisville -Garner" or something like that. But in reality, we have Raleigh. Durham. Period. The two are vastly different and no one enjoys those differences more than I.

At a wedding last night, we sat in the synagogue whose location had eluded us despite Mapquest and a general knowledge of midtownish Durham after living here for almost 20 years. Once seated, we enjoyed the cushy seats, the beautiful chuppah, the joy on the faces of the 50ish couple, the cellist and violinist (friends of mine - who reportedly were kicked out of the Symphony due to an intriguing personal situation that I'll not gossip about here....but the intrigue only makes me love them more), and the increasingly frantic efforts of my husband to keep his yarmulke on his Brillo-pad of a head.

As I looked around, though, I was reminded of recent trips to Durham. For me, Durham is a land of dance performances, sometimes in the nude, sometimes with leaf-blowers. Durham is the apex of the Triangle when it comes to restaurants. And that includes the CC. Durham has the Bulls, sure, and Duke, of course. But it also has the NC Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, and the world's largest selection of intellectual-looking eyeglasses and apparently lots of boutiques that sell hemp jumpers. That is the dress code in Durham, and the wedding last night was a veritable runway for the Bull City look.

So as a fellow guest encouraged me to try the appetizers, as the dinner food was sure to be "quite different", and as I watched bemusedly as the mother of the bride was whisked onto the dance floor by a trim, close-shaven lady in a three-piece suit, and as we fretted about trying to find NC 147 from our location deep within the Duke campus, I settled into the Durhamness. I chatted freely about last weekend's film festival (having seen my friend's short there), I laughed at fellow wedding guests' frustrations with Raleigh, and I noshed on various gluten-free dips and really, really lovely Malbec.

There is much to love about the Triangle, but you have to look a little harder for it than in other regions of the country. I pride myself on having looked pretty hard, and as a result have maybe even found more than the average citizen. After 17 years, it is getting easier to find things to love.

"Courtney Love continues her attack on Steve Coogan" is a headline I didn't expect to see today. I am woefully behind on the Owen Wilson suicide attempt. In fact, I didn't know about it til yesterday. I've tried to ignore all the hype, and actually it seems as though the media is somewhat respecting his wish for privacy (I said SOMEWHAT). But now that my boy Steve Coogan has been indicted...well, I might need to find out more.

I do hope Owen is doing ok and healing. He's a funny little guy, and an actor I admire.

I just read the word "goop" in a NYTImes headline. The goop in question is a substance sprayed on expensive homes threatened by wildfires. Boy, if you thought the end of days was a myth...this week has been literally hell on earth. The story of the Greek teacher who gathered her children in her arms as the flames engulfed them was a serious downer this morning, but also a reminder of the power of a woman whose children are in danger. The beautiful, unreal Greek antiquities and sites we saw on our honeymoon are apparently not immune to destruction. And frankly, my yard might as well have been burned. The grass crunches like Pringles when you walk on it. We lost a Carolina jasmine this week, a plant that had grown so busy and wild (like the children, who were only tiny sprouts when we planted the jasmine) it seemed completely inpenetrable. But no. And likewise a dogwood, maybe two. The drought is a hard, awful thing. The heat that comes with it makes me lethargic and grumpy. The book "The Last Hard Time" about the dust bowl was one of our book club selections this year and I truly wonder about the emotional state of those who lived through it. If I'm this much of a wuss about a dry, torrid August in North Carolina, how would I have survived five or more years in the middle of nowhere, plus massive dirt walls that filled the skies every few days? Yeah, I'm not of that midwestern stock. I'm tired of relying on air conditioning for my sleep and on Gatorade for my energy level. This wave has got to break.

Many questions about my summer playlist:

Why that Shout Out Louds song? The cut is from a 2007 EP & I was trying to include summer 07 releases...I don't usually like EPs but I like the Shout Out Louds. My brother-in-law gave me a copy of Howl Howl Gaff Gaff from...2005, I think...and I am trying to listen to it over the loud weirdness that transpires on car rides with my children. Maybe after school starts I'll be able to hear it more fully.

No White Stripes? Oops. I do have them on all the children's mixes - they like "Rag and Bone" (and to hear my son, after I say a curse word, reprimand me with "Aw, Belle don't be rude!", is really something.) and "I'm Slowly Turning Into You"....I have a fondness for "Conquest". But maybe the "300 mph Torrential...etc. whatever" song is best for my mix.

Where's the leaked Rilo Kiley? Yeah, I...I just haven't been able to love Jenny like I should. I think that I will add "Silver Lining", but since the jury is out on the new stuff, I'm reluctant.

Also, this has nothing to do with anything, but I really don't see the big deal about Putin & his racy pictures. So the man has guns. And a nicely formed torso. I'm sure all the working out helps lower his stress levels.

My daughter is currently, despite the 99 degree heat, rocking a beret. I tried, quite incorrectly it seems, to give a brief history and overview of a beret. She could care less, but she does wonder why artists wear them.

ATL was a great end-of-season trip. Much quality family time, the Braves (though we missed the game of the season, which took place yesterday.....still, we heard Skip announce it in the car and that is a time-honored tradition for my spouse and me), the World of Coke where I tried Inca Kola and Beverly (foul language, be warned), and non-stop farm fun.

My HSM2 review will be forthcoming - there has been a high demand for it, so be patient. My time is at a premium with school starting next week.

It will be hot. It will be sticky. The beer will cost $12 and up. But thanks to my kind brother-in-law and his wife, tix have been secured for Friday's night's Braves game. My husband is delighted (his birthday is in a couple of weeks - what better way to celebrate?). The urchins have their red and blue gear ready. And I'm taking binoculars.

My summer 2007 playlist is just about complete. Here's what I've got:

Never Again - Kelly Clarkson (pressure from the children, but you know I gotta give props to Kel)

Ooh La - The Kooks

My Moon My Man -Feist

Tonight I Have to Leave It-Shout Out Louds

Listen Up!-The Gossip (I bought this and the Justice song below - only to see them offered as free downloads on iTunes.)

Sister Rosetta (Capture the Spirit)- Noisettes

Do I Disappoint You-Rufus Wainwright

D.A.N.C.E.-Justice

Secret Spell- Tori Amos (Not really a Tori fan, but credit where credit is due)

Mistaken for Strangers - The National

Innocence- Björk (I am just not listening to Volta the way I usually would with a Björk release...why?)

TV & Me - Mando Diao

1234 - Feist (More pressure from the children...they love the video)

The Illiad- Tapes 'n Tapes

Direct Hit - Art Brut

Paranoia In B Major - The Avett Brothers (thanks MP!)

Don't You Evah-Spoon

Take Me to the Riot-Stars

Having recently entertained my niece and nephew for about 30 hours straight, and every snack and mealtime being somewhat of a struggle, I was interested in this article about eating together called, appropriately,The Benefits of Eating Together. There are things I learned from this - including to keep the mood light when it comes to manners instruction. There is many a night when I screech (quite heavily, nothing light about it) at someone to quit scraping their fork against their teeth or to stop with the slurping. My job and now soccer will ensure that there are nights when we don't eat together. Also: it will not be me who teaches my children to cook. Other friends do it beautifully - making cookies together, their urchins sneaking in the kitchen to prepare a surprise birthday cake...but I'm just not that good at it so I suck as a model and teacher.

That said, my daughter made pesto this week and my son scrambled an egg this morning. Maybe I should just avoid baking...which I do anyway!

I do feel like my children are open to trying new things, and they definitely go from strong dislike to acceptance after several introductions to a given food. They still have strong preferences, especially for packed lunches at school, but as long as it is healthy and well-balanced I usually give in to a certain whim.

Just don't say, "I hate this" or "I don't want any of that" at my table. I work far too hard shopping, planning and preparing to hear that crap.

By the way, the above article is from a fun site that is helping me track my exercise...Spark People. It has been sort of fun, for now, anyway, to see my progress. Try it out.

It's hot. Like, so totally my 11th grade summer, lifeguarding at the YWCA hot, sticky vinyl front seat of my 1976 Toyota Corolla hot. The children and I just blended ice cream and watermelon for a completely refreshing treat, but I'd also like to try this: Mango Watermelon Shake.

And also? What do you do with YOUR dead digital cameras?

Our Cruise-azy soccer coach is at it again: three email messages in one day! He is ready to start practicing, he has scheduled two additional practices in addition to the two a week we already have next week (thank GOD we're out of town), he got each member of the team a subscription to a soccer mag, and he has already booked our hotel rooms for our tourneys in August October! Beyond that, he has given the players daily homework, and he has signed up our team to provide fruit baskets and ball girl services for a college team that is coming to the area for a tournament. Did I mention the players are NINE? Did I need to? It is this kind of thing that makes August the cruelest month (that and the freaking 101 degree heat, not counting the dreaded heat indices). I know, I asked for all this, I encouraged my daughter's talent, etc. but I truly wonder how our society ran so amuck in the first place. Is it because of Tiger Woods & his grotesquely early start? Is it because people have technology and can thus get more organized and plan things more quickly and thoroughly? Do we really hate hanging around the house with our kids that much? Do the organizers of all these leagues, tourneys, activities, fundraisers feel as though they missed out on their childhoods? We may never know.

So I'm ramping up. Soccer mom yet again. At least I'll have the other moms to commiserate with about the money, time, and pressure.

I LOVE YOU INTERNET!

Ink Stain Removal Cleaning Tips are the very things for which I revere this tangled web each and every day.

Been recuperating from yet another expensive gum graft, and really mad at self for not learning the first time that I need not lean over my reclining son to hug him good night, for he will raise up, hard, and clock me in my tender jaw.

Surgery was well-timed, for my girl is at camp, and my son had his only day camp (a golfing one), and HP 7 came out. I read it, I was well satisfied, I cried a few times, and I will say no more in the event you haven't yet read it.

I've had so much to post about, but not enough drive. This inherent laziness that is one of my qualities has risen to a creamy, frothy head this summer. I'm succumbing to it, knowing that Fall and the First Day of School will soon force my hand.

At the very least, I encourage you to see the three movies I've seen this summer (in the theatre, anyway - we've rented no end of fun things): Waitress with the dearly departed Adrienne Shelly (what a tragic, horrific tale) and my favorite Cheryl Hines plus Captain Malcolm Reynolds from Firefly and Serenity; Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix with all kinds of dark, evil doings and a highly effective cameo by Helena (just as I had hoped); and Once, a tiny little film with all kinds of appealing features, the least of all the soundtrack. I've blogged about it before, but I keep coming back to the music and I do hope you'll see it if you've not already. Listen here, especially to Falling Slowly.

I am truly sorry, dear readers, to tell you of the deaths of Margaret and Henry Lee. Both parents and grandparents, both endlessly fascinating, and both whose deaths were a relief. As my son said during a funeral this week, "I"m sad. I'm sad for me, but happy for him because who wants him to suffer any more?"

Right. We're sad for us. And for those who loved them so much - you're out there reading this so know I'm with ya.

In the meantime, I'll try to learn more, be a more forceful and independent woman, help my fellow man more, and attempt to be 1/10 as optimistic as our dearly departed. Amazing lessons all. Well done, good and faithful servants.

No one belongs here more than you. Stories by Miranda July

No one belongs here more than you. Stories by Miranda July

I heard about Miranda July via a few New York-based web sites that I visit regularly. But I'm not visiting them today or really until I finish #7. As you know. Sorry to repeat myself, but I am needing to shore up my defenses.

Anyway, she's in a Blonde Redhead video at the moment. Interestingly, we saw Blonde Redhead in concert. And that is saying something, as I've seen maybe six concerts in the last two years and four of them were classical or jazz.

I'm eager to read her stuff. Not available, by the way, at our local libraries. Nor is The Dud Avocado. But you can find 12 - 17 books about big cats, including pumas, jaguars, and cougars. Just not at the moment, because they are all here at my house.

Please, please, please don't let me see or hear about any spoilers.

The Internet: my love, my arch-nemesis.

I'm taking a bit of a break from the computer in order to exercise more anyway...but good timing as my will is weak and the information is available.

We'll be at the Colonial Williamsburg Barnes and Noble purchasing our book, maybe at midnight if the children can hang (HA HA HA who am I kidding...it will be me who will go to bed at 9). I promise no spoilers on this site for the foreseeable future. Promise.

Favorite HP casting:

Well, Alan Rickman of course. I think that was pure genius.

Helena as Bellatrix LeStrange.

God love Richard Harris.

Ralph Fiennes was amazing in HP4 - and as I believe the New Yorker has pointed out, it may be the finest performance given without a nose, ever!

I was hoping for Daniel Day Lewis for Sirius Black but Gary Oldman suffices.

And for Rita Skeeter, Miranda is fantastic but what about Jane Horrocks??? If only for the voice.

As for the children, I still think Ron is going to be a huge star, and I'm impressed at Daniel Radcliffe's, um, flexibility with his career. Emma Watson doesn't do it for me, but she's been looking really cute at all the premieres.

Who do you like? I know comments have been acting up, so if you can't comment, email me and I'll post your faves.