I consider myself to be the new Renaissance woman. Why, just yesterday I dined on a pineapple boat with chicken salad at a country club that denies entry to those dressed in denim. Not long before, I taught music to hordes of munchkins at a private cooperative preschool, careful not to sing about the aged ("This Old Man") or, God forbid, God ("Kum Bah Yah"). Not long after the luncheon, I hauled my children about in my minivan to t-ball and gymnastics practice. And later that evening I prepared a hot meal for my family that included a delightful, fresh gourmet salad.

Today, though, all bets are off. I'm going camping. Again. I know you can't believe I would head back out after last fall's experience in the landing path of the airport. I'm taking my son and I'm taking two other ladies...one a girl scout, the other a novice. There will be drinking, oh yes, there will be drinking...but more importantly, there will be sleeping. Bears, thunderstorms, and Iraqui war veterans blasting Van Halen across the camp site be damned, I will sleep tonight. Thank you LORD.

I spent my Saturday night enjoying quiet, pleasant pursuits like growling and drinking and laughing at my husband and in-laws. My children, on the other hand, were worked up into a heavy-duty froth over Jack Black and his hosting duties for the 2006 Kid's Choice Awards. It was all good, clean fun, especially when Will Smith admonished children to hang out with good kids and when Pink sang about stupid girls, but aren't I glad we weren't standing in the mosh pit!

My inlaws and I tried to tell my daughter that Lindsay Lohan isn't the best role model. She seems unkind, disloyal, and really, really into blow. And, as seen above, doesn't wear underwear at public appearances. Our admonishments fell on ears deafened by the hum of Herbie the Love Bug, but then again, how noble is it of we adults to even know these things about Lindsay Lohan? Or even to care? Lesson learned.