I'm a crappy costumer this time of year. Part of it is a lack of desire to spend any moeny on this enterprise and part of it is a lack of ideas. Look at the iPod ad! That is genius! And some woman at our annual neighborhood chaos prior to trick-or-treat time (which I love: you only have to talk to people for 1 -2 minutes tops and you can always duck away to get a snack because you HAVE to eat - its your only supper, and the whole thing disintigrates the minute it gets dark.) had her baby as a spider in the Bjorn and she had on a white dress with webs. I mean, it was adorable.

Me? I went as the crazy neighbor lady who had a cutesy jack-o-lantern cup full of vodka and was yelling at the bully kid bothering her son. It's always best to play a role close to type.

Oh, and this is pretty cute: view theRock and Roll Fantasy Prom

Madonna again. She stole her idea of the podcast confessions, I suppose, from PostSecret. I've listened to a few of the calls made to 1-888-2-CONFESS and they are nowhere near as artsy as the postcards, but about as squirm-inducing. I keep going back to PostSecret even though I never feel that great when I do. Maybe I thought that knowing someone shared one of my secrets would be a good thing, but so far, not so much.

Too bad our favorite Halloweeny friends aren't having their bash this year: my husband and I had done loads of research to appear as The Federlines. So last year, you may protest! But no, we were going to sport a peasant skirt and bring a tiny wrapped infant along. I guess we have to find another use for our only costume purchase.

Angry with Madonna, because her kids are fluent in French. That is the one thing I guess my husband and I really wanted for our children, but neither seem particularly interested in another language. We have debated changing schools, but why mess with their happiness just to accomplish our lifelong dream for them (though it would open MANY doors and bring them WEALTH and FAME and CULTURE? I'm just sayin')

Also angry with Madonna because her single's new video is only viewable on a PC. Damn, girl - show Apple some love after all they do for you!

Awww, I can't be angry for long.

I could never write about it like Bad News Hughes does, but I seem to have a raving case of psoriasis on my face. I've tried my old treatment stand-by of rubbing Denorex all over my face (hurts so good) and it abates the itching and crusting for a while, but then it comes back. I'm now all red-faced and wrinkly looking. I seriously look like I need Botox, but I think it is mostly the psoriasis.

At some point this will get bad enough to see a doctor, but then what? Like Mr. Hughes, I will feel compelled to see if I can't knock out a few other ailments. Like getting my moles checked, seeing if I can't score some anti-aging samples, and getting advice on sun protection. It won't happen, and I shouldn't even dare to dream.

Plus, if I had free time, the last place I want to go is to the waiting room of a dermatologist. It isn't friendly and happy. And I can't focus enough to knit in there. For now, I think I'll diagnose myself as having a fierce reaction to the weather change and pick at my scabs and scales a little less.

I can cook soups, salads, sauces, and dressings. And that's about it. But I am required to make a "freezer item" for a co-worker...so how about some suggestions? Soup freezes well but I'm not sure this is what they had in mind.

Found in my late grandmother's craft box (she had about the same level of organizational prowess that I did):

How to Raise a Boy

Love him with no strings attached.

Show confidence in his abilities.

Enjoy his growing skills.

Encourage his initiative.

Give him ways to help.

Help him feel he belongs.

Give him space of his own.

Give him freedom plus responsibility.

Give him the right to choose.

Keep your personal fears out of his life.

Let him speak without fear or shame.

Discipline him gently and consistently.

Give him something to believe in.

I think these are pretty nice. I fall short on a lot of points, especially the part about personal fears. Fear pretty much does rule my life but I can freely admit it and isn't that step one? I am consistent in discipline but not necessarily gentle - how can I be when he is charming and hilarious 2/3 of the time? At any rate, this blast from the past is something to chew on. Now that I've committed it to the Internet, I can toss away the tea-stained, mimeographed half-sheet.

That I am a Madonna fan is no secret. That I have only bought one of her albums is perhaps a secret. But here's a secret: I am going to decompress after our school Mom Madness night aka Fall Festival by vegging out in from of the commercial-free debut of Madge's movie with a tall glass of water.

I can truly think of nothing more indulgent at this point in the season.

THINGS I LEARNED AT THE N.C. STATE FAIR:
a continuing series....

Seeing a mother pig nursing a boatload of babies and seeing a cow milked lose their mystique after feeding two infants from your own teats.

Another great thing about my current gig of staying home plus teaching the toddler set old school songs and rhythm games is that I have yet to feel like, and doubt I will ever, and hope to god I won't cry.I'm a crier. I can't help it, I'm wired that way, it's just the way it is and I hate it and love it alternately.

I cried in my other jobs - lots in secret and a few times in front of people. I cried once when I had to tell the director of the service agency where I worked about the valued male volunteer (who worked exclusively with the teen volunteers) told me, with graphic details and while we were isolated in an elevator, how he envisioned a tawdry sexual encounter with me. And once I cried when told my immediate supervisor had been fired. That was just pure release: I was mortified and relieved all at once.

I'm a tough girl. Or I like to think I am. But my hormones do get the best of me - the article linked above says never to blame it on your period...well, more than likely all of my workplace crying happened at a crux time in my cycle. But still, tough girls have to cry sometimes too...its either that or be a raving, evil bitch and I think my choice is the best one for me.

So she didn't win. She's still on my short list. And I've given Julian Barnes a go....and I'm happy to go again. going to read John Banville, just watch me. But forgive me if I skip Life of Pi.

And someday soon, really, I kid you not, I am going to finish Middlemarch. I love it, I really, really love it. The print is just so tiny....and HBP came out in the middle of the summer, and oh a thousand reasons, but sometime soon I'll move on from George Eliot to the newbie Brits.

It is a dark night in the Whilst household: the bullpen let us down in Texas....BUT AFTER 18 INNINGS! So I'm not quite as sad as I have been in (many, many) Octobers past. In my book, the Braves did indeed take it to game 5 - do the math. My children were bewildered by the 18 inning madness. I was happy because we were able to see 9 innings then go on a quick outing to run, play soccer and Harry Potter, and roll in wet grass before coming home for the last 4 innings.

The game had a lot to do with age, too: Clemens, the oldest guy in the MLB, even Smoltzy is getting on up there...even though it took a kid with a walkoff homer to end the thing.

So 40's not too bad, right honey?

Percentages. It's all about percentages.

Number of roaches in my house in five years: maybe 20
Number on me in the bed: 5
Percentage of spotted roaches on me in my bed: 1/4 of all roaches

Number of students in my son's class: 23 (hopefully down to 20 by week's end)
Number of bullies from our neighborhood who made it into the class despite the fact that there are six kindergarten classes at school: 1
Percentage of evil for my son: 2/138 or so, or 1/21, given that there is at least one more freakish bully type in the kindergarten.

Number of credit cards my husband and I hold: 6
Number lost by us in the last month: 2
Percentage of ineptitude in this house: 1/3 inept


There's more, but I need to go spray insecticide and maybe gargle with it.

Part of me wants to team up with potential Nobel laureates and save Africa (or at least tour Europe) and part of me wants to become really, really good at making adorable holiday cake products.

I've never really fit in anywhere.

Just returned from "Corpse Bride" and we loved it. It is such a crap shoot to see something decent in the theatre - but this was a special - Sunday a.m., 10 in the morning, THREE BUCKS and a cherry Coke for a dollar. Good times. The GOF trailer rocked really hard. I worried for the 3 y.o. behind me during it, but not enough to enjoy the hell out of it. GOF was the first book I did a midnight run for - and though not my favorite, it scared the hell out of me. The movie looks equally scary, and maybe even better than its inspiration? A favorite scene from the trailer is the entrance into Hogwarts by the girls of Beaubatons; here's a grainy picture. Daniel Radcliffe looks pretty delighted when they walk in - and right cute, too! He's of age so my lusting friend Lynn can lust without fear of statutory at this point.

This is just brilliant: I wish all of tv land would do it. I guess Nick's profits are such that they can swing. They have also turned it into a pretty huge marketing gimmick. Then again, it seems a responsible thing to do in this day and age of inactivity. I think it's great. You?